Every year for my birthday/New Years, I decide on a theme to ground me and return to through the year. This year’s theme is letting go.

The hardest thing about being an adult is recognizing that you’ve grown ~out~ of people/things/habits/thoughts. It’s easy to assume that once you’ve learned self-love to an extent, everything else will feel better.

Unfortunately, self-love isn’t an end goal; it’s the catalyst for self-awareness. And being that deeply aware of who you are and what you need is only the beginning of actively taking care of yourself and surrounding yourself with only that which lifts and/or grounds you.

This absolutely requires letting go of excess weight in your life.

Let go of the idea that you’re still young enough to not care how you treat or love your body. Let go of the idea that you’re not f*cking beautiful. You are.

Learn to let go of people. People you thought were always going to be there will stop rising to meet you. But know that others will surprise you. Don’t stop giving yourself to people, but choose wisely. And remember: Just because you have history with someone doesn’t mean they’re still deserving of your time, effort or love. It’s a difficult revelation but an important one to maintain healthy, true relationships.

Let go of the thought that if you speak up and ask for something or say no to take care of yourself, you’re no longer a wonderful friend/human. And learn to listen and give the same support in return.

Let go of the rule that being sensitive and open and vulnerable makes you weak, too much or needy. You might come off too strong. Don’t shame yourself for feeling so deeply. Feel your emotions in full, and then deliberately choose how to respond to them. Anyone who can’t or won’t receive them probably isn’t worthy of them anyway.

Let go of guilt. It’s counterproductive even if it stems from a good place. Don’t feel guilty for your needs and don’t expect others to carry your guilt.

Let go of the idea that you have to be doing things like everyone else. You don’t have to live a conventional life. You don’t have to let other people’s likes, shares, thoughts or reactions dictate what you put your heart into. Remember that you create for your sanity, not to demonstrate to anyone else what you’re made of.

Let go of judgment. You are not better than anyone else nor are you inferior or unworthy. People only make you feel as small as you let them. People learn how to love you from watching the way you love yourself.

We don’t have a lot of control over things in life. But we do have control over how we respond and how we choose to care about ourselves. Letting go is necessary in choosing you.

So let go. Of what’s not serving you. Of what makes you feel bad. Of what doesn’t fit into your desired lifestyle.